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Disability Narratives

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Audio clip: The understanding of why he occasionally walked into things and could be exhausted at the end of a day gave Paul more confidence about himself.

It was like sort of how I found out about it. And where I gained a lot - from that gained a lot of knowledge and a lot more confidence about myself. Where I could - things like I walk into things all the time, and in the past went "Oh, I'm so clumsy." And actually now I can just go "Yeah, it's dyspraxia - I walk into things." I'm bruised occasionally. So there, rather than feeling guilty and self-conscious about those things.

And I mean that sounds like finding out about it made quite a significant difference to you personally.

Yes.

Did it make any difference to your work, and the work environment, or anything in your day to day job?

Well there's the self-confidence side, being - Especially as the jobs I've worked in are roles, ones that have needed - not needed a lot of self-confidence, but there are times where actually - Well, need a lot of - be assertive a lot. And it just helps me be that little bit more confident, being assertive. But also just little things like I realise how much energy I was spending, and concentration I was spending, trying to - with a wobbly chair. And now I just make sure that my desk chair is always solid. And if it starts to wobble, get it replaced. Because of the physical and mental effort needed for me just to sit upright, - it just seemed like such a little thing, but makes a huge difference to me being able to concentrate at work, and come home at the end of the day feeling okay. Rather than absolutely shattered by two, three o'clock, because I spent all day sort of - not consciously, but putting that extra bit of effort into things. And there's a few other bits like that, like ensuring that I have - well, not ensuring, but realising why I've always needed - been picky about using the right pen, and things like that. Certain pens I can write better with. And now I sort of understand more about the reasons behind it. The grip, and the flow, and what have you. That kind of thing. So all little bits, but it adds up to quite a big difference.

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