Advice for colleagues and managers
Interview excerpt: Talking to someone about their condition can be difficult for all involved, Charlotte suggests that’s sometimes it is better to get help so that necessary action can be taken.
© Disability Narratives
Because I think that's even more frustrating, if I've sat through - you know - half an hour, forty five minutes, of spilling my guts about how ill I am, to somebody who I think can help, and they've nodded. They've nodded and they've said all the right things, and then it's come to nought. It's more frustrating. I'd much rather we didn't bother [laugh]. Because, you know, it takes a lot of energy when you're ill to explain. You either listen and do it properly, or don't bother. Refer me on to somebody else who will, because I don't know.
Maybe managers just need to recognise their own limitations. And I guess that's, that's part of it as well. not every manager will have the time [or] the interest. I get that, it's not - in an ideal world they would. But, but maybe if they genuinely can't do it, point the person to somebody who can. Don't waste that person's time. Because when you're ill, time is very, very precious. It stretches on forever, but it also feels incredibly fragile. And, you know, you don't want to waste it. You're too conscious of it passing, without you being able to do anything to control it - you know - control what's happening to you. In which case I'd much rather they said "Go and talk to this person and then come back to me and tell me what I need to do to help you." Or something like that It's just more honest.